I am in my 40’s and dating a man years younger then myself I find it very interesting that, having been married to a man 14 years older then myself and always dating older men before him without a word of ill from anyone I have now become the gossip on everyone’s lips.

Just yesterday my going to be ex-husband told me that he was embarrassed for me by what I was doing. When I asked him, “what am I doing?” he said, “you know, dating a young guy”. I asked him how he felt it was any of his business and how he, of all people could judge me. He had been married when he met me and started dating me without giving it a second thought. Why are my actions so much different and embarrassing?

I did not intend to date a younger man, much less fall for one. I have always shied away from them. I have a best girlfriend that has always dated younger men. I used to ask her, as I went out with the old guys, what she could possibly see in a guy almost half her age.
But now that I am in the middle of all of this I see, my eyes have been opened and I believe that you must try it before you decide if it is right or wrong.

In all actuality, I believe that it is possible that a younger man has not been damaged by bad marriages or ex-girlfriends or even have children. They are willing to take us for what we are with our workloads and children and whatever else is going on in our lives. They are going to work their butts off to make sure that we are taken care of and not the other way around as is the stereo type.

The relationship I am in currently, which I take for what it is with no expectations, I can say is the most honest and open relationship I have ever had. Believe me I have had my fill of relationships. I have been married 3 times. I have been beaten, raped, cheated on, lied to, left more times then I can count, all from men who claimed to love me and where supposed to take care of me.

I am 44years old, I am beautiful, I am smart, I am successful. I do not need someone to validate those things for me, yet men my age and older want me to feel that if not for them women my age would be toast, which brings me to the point of being judged by them.

How many of us have been out on a date with a man our age or older and we thought we had their full attention, then walks in miss I’m 22 with blond hair and blue eyes and all of a sudden we no longer have their attention. When we bring this up to them in conversation they usually deny the whole thing instead of just admitting what was really going on in their heads.

By Virginia Hamilton